Day 15: the day that never was (PrEP)

So, yes I disappeared for a few days for a good reason. I feel that I don't need to get on here everyday and say the same thing. But today was different. I finished off 14 days on the pill on yesterday. However, I slipped off the wagon. I had every intention to take that lil blue pill call PrEP however I let my outside circumstances take the best of me. Today I was super busy getting prepped for an event at Coney Island in August that I didn't get a chance to eat. Not because I didn't have the opportunity to eat, but I didn't have the funds to purchase that high priced stuff out there. I didn't leave there till four and took us till after six to get back to Harlem. Then took me til 9 to get home to finally eat. But by then I felt it was too late to take it. So yes, I fucked up and I didn't keep my momentum going.

But the best part about messing up is you can start all over and make it right the next time. Learn from your experiences and don't let them get you down. I have got breakfast foods now so I can take the pill everyone morning with breakfast as a way of not having this happen again. It will also get me in the routine of actually eating every morning again. I stopped this back a while ago when my money started decreasing. But I won't let it continue. I won't allow anything or anyone to stop me.  I think this pill has helped me get a little structure back in my life.

Yes I missed the pill but there's still enough of the drug in my system to protect me. Plus, I'll be back on it tomorrow, so don't you worry I'll be alright. Have any of you on it currently skipped a day or two here and there? How did it make you feel. I'm not going to let it effect me I'm just going to keep it moving. We all make mistakes. Well anyway goodnight all. Keep the comments and shares coming.

Day 10 & 11: Exhaustion gets the best of us

Hey everybody,
I apologize I disappeared for a day but my body was not up to doing anything once I got home last night. I worked fourteen hours straight and my body felt drained and depleted. But one thing I can say is I ate dinner and then took my pill. I took it around 4 pm which I am realizing I really need to set a standard time when I will take this medicine so it's more routine. I had no side effects yesterday other than a slight cramp that went away. Overall, I still have had no problems with taking PrEP. Maybe I was meant to take it since it doesn't really effect me. I had worst side effects on my first hyper tension medicine. That medicine made me feel exhausted, couldn't walk more than a block before I was gasping for air, headaches, dizziness and stomach aches. So I know all about side effects but PrEP hasn't been like that. I pray it stays that way because I know it's not like that for everyone.

So the reason why why day 10 was so long for me was because I had to work in the office for part of the day, then had to attend the beginning of the Latex Ball. My fear is always about whether the side effects will kick in while I'm in public. But again I haven't had that problem yet. Phew. So today was Day 11 and I arrived in Philly, went straight to breakfast, so for once I took PrEP for lunch at noon. I was proud of myself. The app Every Dose, Every Day also reminded me at 11 am that it was time to take the pill. I'm liking that app, you can even set up a buddy with it to also remind you. I think adherence is a day by day thing that you personally have to figure out what works best for you. Today, I have felt great, no side effects whatsoever. I won't lie the more I take it I get a little gasier lol but thats bout it. Nothing too major.

This is my 11th day on this med and yet I will be honest I still haven't done anything sexual since taking it. And I'm in no rush to do anything sexual with anyone. It definitely does not mean my sexual urges have went away, just I don't want to rush into sex. I feel too many people are in things for sex and not to get to know anyone anymore. I'm not really down for that. Get to know me before you go asking dick sizes, or am I a top or bottom, or do I wanna meet up at 1 am... Nah bruh you got me mixed up. Let's move beyond this. but one great way if you plan to do such activities is PrEP, but don't use it as a crutch to go out to do anything and everything. Everything comes at a cost whether you pay it now or later. I'm trying to take things one day at a time and not rush anything whatsoever. Hopefully, people understand the method to my madness. But one thing I know, my body will definitely be protected from HIV when I'm ready to do something sexual. Who knows when that'll be. But it will happen and I will be ready.

I love when people are honest about their status; as well as honest with their use of PrEP. I think it shows maturity as well as determination to do the right thing for themselves. That's very commendable. As long as you keep up your health you will always be alright with me. So keep up the good work folk and I shall say goodnight to you all until tomorrow. Smooches

Day 9: Getting forgetful.....PrEP Journey

antone have those days when you are super busy and you mean to do things but they just slip your mind.  Well missing a pill is not something you should forget. But I sure almost did it.  I purposely took my lunch at noon thinking ohhh I can eat then take my pill and keep it moving. I was wrong I got tied up eating and working and almost running late to a meeting. By time everything was over it was 5 pm before I took my pill. Five hours later, smh and I had almost forgot. I made this commitment to myself so I need to follow it strictly..

So to help me in this quest I found a new app called Every dose, every day. It was created by the CDC (Centers for Disease Control) and it allows you to put in your medications, pharmacy and doctors info and it'll remind you when to take your pill, when its time to refill, and even your doctors appointments. It's great to have a reminder everyday to tell you take that pill or pills. I know I sure need it. It's on Android and iPhones, check it out it's free.

Today is another day with no side effects. I guess I'm lucky cause some of my other friends side effects weren't cute.  I guess everyone's body reacts differently.  For all my hiv negative people I suggest you try PrEP, it's not bad at all and it helps protect you.  I love how I go different places and I run into friends and the first question out there mouth is how is the PrEP thing going, I'm guessing they want to hear something bad. Lol. But it's not bad at all. It's great actually 😀 so we shall see what tomorrow holds.  Well all, goodnight and get some rest.

Please share this with a friend. 😀😃😀😀😀

Day 8: This is a big pill

Good evening everyone, today is day 8 which means I successfully made it through my first week. This PrEP thing isn't all that bad. But I will say as I took the pill today, I may keep saying the lil blue pill but it really isn't all that lil if you are not used to taking pills. I know that before I got into my bad car accident in 1999 I was never able to swallow a large pill. But after that I've really had no problem. I dunno what the difference is between the before and the after but it worked. Lol it's not a horse pill lol but it's big enough.

I switched up my routine and Are subway for breakfast followed by taking my pill. I had a slight stomach ache after but I was fine the rest of the day. I will admit I've been really tired lately. I dunno if thats from the pill, work or stress or maybe all combined. But I don't think I can blame that on the lil or big blue pill. I just wonder, what would the world be like if HOV or any chronic disease just disappeared and we didn't have to take pills no more. Things would be so much better. But now we take pills to prevent one thing while causing other issues that we may need to take a pill for. Ever since I been on PrEP I vowed that any side effect I have, that I would not take another pill to solve it. So when I got my headache I didn't take any aspirin, when I had stomach cramps or stomach aches I didn't take anything for it. I just can't see myself taking a pill to counteract a pill. That's a lil much.

I'm just reflecting that I can't believe I explained what PrEP was and the fact that I'm taking it to my class on Tuesday. I see I'm growing a tough skin. You need that in this community to survive. So since I'm taking PrEP, I wanna challenge those who haven't been tested ever or scared to test, or haven't been tested in a while, to go get tested. You can find a free site at hivtest.org. And for those individuals who are positive, please get into care and take care of yourselves. I want to see everyone live a long life but that begins by knowing yourself and taking care of your temple. Don't let it turn to ruins.

I respect myself enough that I know what I will and won't do. I also know what I want to do, so when I made a decision to get on PrEP I knew what and why I was getting myself into taking it. But just know you must think hard, is this right for you? If yes, make it happen and stop giving excuses. As I was taught "excuses are tools of the incompetent which build monuments of nothingness . Those who dwell in them are seldom good at anything. It is better to remain silent and thought a fool, rather than open your mouth and remove all doubt."

So I say that, to urge you to stop making excuses and start making wise decisions how you will protect your temple and take care of it. Love Y'all, goodnight

Day 7: The Big Day

wowwww..... It's been a week. I'm proud of myself. I made it through my first seven days on PrEP. I did as I now routinely do. Got some lunch, took my pill and kept it going. I will admit after the pill I felt a tad gaseous but otherwise I was good. So I've been getting numerous questions on how it feels taking the pill. Being honest it isn't a big change in my life. Other then I know I must eat before it or I'll get sick.. All those scary side effects they say you may get. Don't believe the hype it's not that bad.. But I guess that's speaking on my behalf.. It really hasn't effected me in a bad way.

I wish I could see the anatomy of my body to see what has changed and how this will protect me from HIV. But I believe the clinical trials. I'm also happy to know I'll be attending a PrEP summit in DC in September. So it'll further expand my knowledge on PrEP as well if times come for it I can share my story. I wish there was something like this a long time ago so many people who are currently his positive wouldn't have even been exposed. But that's not the case.

But now I ask myself why aren't more people on PrEP? Do they think it's expensive? Do they even know about it? Are they scared of the side effects? What's really up? I can say I was scared to get on it, and I talked big shut bout how I was going to get on it and never did till seven days ago. I was worried about the price too, but if you have insurance, it will pay for it and then you can get the drug assistance program through Gilead which will pay your co pays, so you'll get this expensive drug for free. As I said no real serious side effects... so what's stopping you from trying it.. What do you have to lose.

I've found a solution that works for me, now you need to find your solution.goodnight everyone

Day 6: Caught me slippin

Good evening everybody. So someone asked me what day is this as I sat in class, and of course today is day 6.  Wow, it's one day away from being a week on PrEP. All I can say is, it's not bad as I thought it would be. I won't lie as the title says I was kinda slipping today. Didn't really have money for lunch and didn't want to take it on an empty stomach. So I was just going to skip this dose because I was not trying to have those stomach cramps again. That was truly annoying, I don't see how you women go through that once a month.... Ugh it's the worst lol

So has it been worth it so far? I dunno yet. I will say either way it has encouraged me to eat more, be conscientious about taking it, and it has me being very strict on writing every day.. I am liking this discipline. Now if I could get that discipline in other areas of my life I'd be alright. Namely getting this body in shape. I hate being the person on the beach with shorts and a t shirt on while everyone is half naked, if not totally naked. But anyway back to the pill.

As I've mentioned in my other entries that there are numerous reasons I want to take this pill. I van be real honest when I started in this lifestyle I used condoms almost always. If not always. But the longer ive been in the scene the more I have come despise them.. Maybe it reminds me of work and I don't wanna think about work on my off time. Maybe I created some phobia about them in my head over time. But either way it goes. I don't necessarily like them. You can call me whatever you want but I could give two fucks about it. Because at the end of the day I do what's best for me and if you not feeding, fucking with me, or financing I could care less about what you think of me. But I will say shyt feels better without the condoms but I would never recommend any have sex without them because it's too much shyt out there you can catch nowadays. But right now I'm doing what I gotta do to protect me. I'd rather take that pill everyday then worry if that lil slip up cause me to catch hiv, which could have been easily avoided.

I won't say I have never been a thot, but I won't say that's my every day motive. But I have been single for a long time so I have my thot like behaviors that manifest themselves from time to time. This is another barrier for those situations.  Better safe then sorry. Yes day seven is tomorrow and after seven days there should be enough of a presence of the medicine to protect me. But that doesn't mean that season is about to start. But when the time feels right I'm going to go in and that person better be ready. Lol

I dunno why though that everyone thinks that if you get on PrEP you gonna be permiscuous. It just means you wanna protect yourself.. Simple as that, and that's what I'm doing. So any other questions about why I'm on PrEP? I'm ready for them. Until then, Goodnight all.

Day 5: lunch time with the blue pill

Good late evening or goodnight. Whatever you wanna call it. So today is day five on the lil blue pill aka PrEP bka Truvada. So I woke up feeling much better than I felt last night and I thought about do I really wanna take this pill this morning? I decided nah I'll listen to one of my friends who says he takes it during lunch. So I did my normal, went to little Caesars and got my hot n ready cheese and devoured it. Then I popped the pill. I went through my day with not one side effect at all. It was marvelous. So I think from now on I will use that method. Have lunch, then take the pill.

I'm excited I'm approaching my first week on it and it hasn't been bad at all. I mean if PrEP is an option for you, just do it. I received my Gilead co past card today. So I never have to pay for my prescription. It's worth it. I can't lie I hate condoms but I use them cause I have to. But this gives me alternatives. Trust and believe I love sex like the next person but this isn't giving me this carte Blanche to go out fucking the city. This pill helps to prevent hiv but not sti's. Remember that. But at least I can be authentic during sex. The last person I was in an intimate relationship I knew from day one I hate condoms. He suggested PrEP then but I didn't move on it that fast. But now I'm here and I'm on it and I feel great.

So tell me your stories about why you wanna use prep? I'd love to hear them. Or tell me your reasons why you are currently on it.