We live our lives with poker faces concealing what is deep down inside. Just because a person smiles all the time doesn't mean they are happy. A happy exterior does not equate to a happy interior. In United States an estimated 38,364 people commit suicide in a year, and of those middle aged men make up 27% of the suicide rate. I believe a lot of suicides could be prevented if we as people get over the fear of seeing a therapist. Actually I won't even say its a fear its stigma. People equate therapist with being crazy but in all actuality, everyone even kids need therapy from time to time. It's a very healthy practice.
I can speak from experience that depression is a very serious thing. I have dealt with serious bouts of depression on numerous occasions in my life. Sometimes you can tell something is wrong with me and other times you can't because I have learned how to mask a lot of my emotions. I remember times where I wanted to commit suicide, one time in particular stands out. I was visiting Philly in August of last year and I was walking, and a lot was on my mind. Most of it had to do with feeling alone in the world, although I'm connected to thousands of people I can name only a few true good friends who are really in my corner. I was in Camden and I was about to walk over to Philly, so I started walking across the Benjamin Franklin Bridge. The view was amazing although my mind was so clouded and all I could think about was if I were to jump off this bridge would anyone really care? And would the world just keep on moving like nothing even happened? I was at a certain point on the bridge and I just sat down and started crying, and in my mind I could see myself climbing onto the railing, looking around and just letting my grip of my feet go and falling straight into the chilly water below. It just kept going through my head as I sat there balling. Luckily someone was texting me while I was sitting there and they called me and talked to me and calmed me down. I continued to talk to him until I made it across the bridge. I still had tears running down my face but his voice and his words soothed my soul. Just imagine if I would have jumped I would not be here writing this right now and so many other things wouldn't have been able to happen, but I didn't and I'm still here surviving.
Don't allow others stereotypes of what therapy is to influence you away from getting seen or talking to someone. You never know what could really be going on inside, although we are good judges of our own character. Yet we still need outside help as well. Depression is a normal human emotion that can pop up at anytime but don't allow your self to stay in that state. Talk about it. Don't bottle it up it's very unhealthy and can cause so many other issues within our bodies. We would never know until we talk it out with a therapist if something that happened to you as a child may be still haunting you as an adult and it's why you act certain ways around people. Or maybe you are chronically depressed and think ohh it's just a phase. You never know but it's better to know then stay in the dark.
If more people seeked treatment or therapy I think a lot of suicide cases would not be happening. People just want to be heard and sometimes individuals feel like they have no one to talk to. When you feel totally alone in the world you want to retreat and disappear off the world and sometimes individuals take that into their own hands. I remember one of my Morehouse brothers who I didn't know directly but had conversed with him a few times on Facebook committed suicide. He was very popular across the campus and despite his popularity he dealt with many issues from his upbringing that lead him to feel powerless when his bills became overwhelming. He was facing eviction when he lost his job, his lights were going to be turned off and he couldn't take it anymore. If only he talked to someone, or someone was in his corner he could have still been here today rather than being an angel looking down upon us.
I implore everyone to just see a therapist once, I promise you that your experience will outweigh any doubt that you may have had before about therapy. I don't want to see any of you losing your life by your own hands. But I also must say I don't want to turn out to be the same, that's why from time to time I do see a therapist. At the beginning of this blog I mentioned about a smile on the outside does not equate to being happy. It's the story of my life but what really grounds me is thinking of my grandmother in heaven looking down, and I say would she approve of me doing this. Everyone should find that one thing that can pull you out of the deep end. As the title says sometimes you can drown in fresh air especially if you don't find your own life preserver. Move beyond fear and just try to break down your walls. Sometimes we build walls so high we can't even conquer them. Don't let that wall shut you out of world at hand. There are people out there paid to help you. Seek assistance, help is just one phone call away.
If you ever, or you have a friend who ever has thought of contemplating suicide, PLEASE have them call 800-273-8255. The life you save might just be your own.
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